


I wish I were Heather. A tsukkiyama Story

by GaaraCouldHitIt



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: M/M, Tsukiyama - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-20
Updated: 2020-08-20
Packaged: 2021-03-06 15:00:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 10,257
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26000785
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GaaraCouldHitIt/pseuds/GaaraCouldHitIt
Summary: Yamaguchi has the biggest crush on his childhood bestfriend Tsukishima. But when tsukki meets a girl named heather, Yamaguchi gets jealous. And after no time at all there already dating.Yamaguchi likes writing songs, to show his emotions. And so far his favorite one is "Heather". So when he is invited to a party he drinks a little too much, and accidentally sings his new favorite song to Tsukki. But what Will he say?This is inspired by a song "Heather" by Conan Gray
Kudos: 21





	1. Chapter 1

𝖸𝖺𝗆𝖺𝗀𝗎𝖼𝗁𝗂 𝖯𝖮𝖵

It's december 3rd. And school was cancelled because it snowed all last night. I didn't sleep much. I really wanted to call Tsukki because I wanted to hang out. But I didn't, because tsukki would yell at me. He is always really grumpy in the morning. Not that isn't grumpy always it's just worse in the morning. But as soon as it was 8 i'm the morning. I couldn't wait any longer so sent him a message.

ᵀᵒ ᵗˢᵘᵏᵏⁱ   
Are you awake yet? Did you see schools cancelled. I'm really excited. We can watch christmas movies and drink hot Coco at my house. ;)  
𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥

ᶠʳᵒᵐ ᵗˢᵘᵏᵏⁱ  
I am now... and yes I did see that school was cancelled.   
𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥

ᵗᵒ ᵗˢᵘᵏᵏⁱ  
Do you wanna go to the park, and watch the snow?? please tsukki we never do it anymore, I miss it. pleaseeee  
𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥

ᶠʳᵒᵐ ᵗˢᵘᵏᵏⁱ   
Ugh fine only because i'm already awake. Meet there in 10?  
𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥

ᵗᵒ ᵗˢᵘᵏᵏⁱ  
Yay thanks. I'll be there. :)  
𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥

But I was too excited... I couldn't wait. I skipped eating anything, because I didn't wanna be throw up breakfast. I had butterflies in my stomach. 

I rushed out the door, because I don't want to be late. Even though I wouldn't be late for about another 5 minuets give or take. It was ages sense you and Tsukki had watch the snow fall at the park. We hadn't done it sense middle school. 7th grade to be exact. He thought it stupid because we were both in high school now.

I practically ran to the park. This day was already onto an amazing start. Hanging out with the guy I like on a snowing day with hot coco watching movies. It was a dream come true, it was the best. I know i'm an idiot having a crush on my best friend of years but I couldn't help myself there was something about him. Maybe it was because he only showed his soft side to me and me only. It felt nice to be the only one with something. It wasnt something Tsukki gave to everyone, which meant I was special to him. But I couldn't tell him, I had tried before. But he always had put his headphones on and ignored it. And he also was into to girls, not guys.   
Before I knew it I was already at the park.

——/

Tsukki wasn't there yet so I sat on a bench wide eyed watching the snow. It was so pretty, I wouldn't ever get tired of watching it. I was cold really cold, because I had forgotten a sweatshirt. I see Tsukki walking over.

"Hey Tsukki good morning. Isn't it pretty outside."

"Shut up you're too loud, it's only like 8:10 in the morning."

"s-sorry tsukki."

"Yamaguchi aren't you cold."

"A little but it is my fault, I rushed out the door and forgot my sweatshirt." A little was an understatement. I thought I already had frostbite 

"You're so clumsy, here." He says while handing over his sweatshirt. While adjusting his glasses.  
"I don't want you getting sick. 𝙔𝙤𝙪 𝙡𝙤𝙤𝙠 𝙗𝙚𝙩𝙩𝙚𝙧 𝙞𝙣 𝙞𝙩 𝙖𝙣𝙮𝙬𝙖𝙮. It's getting to small for me now. But don't keep it."

"Thank you." I was confused why he wouldn't let me keep it, but I didn't care. I put on the sweatshirt, and I was immediately hit with the smell of Strawberry's.  
Well it was Tsukki's favorite thing after all. But he didn't tell that to anyone, just like his collection of dinosaurs things. He though it was stupid because it were things children liked, but I didnt care. I liked seeing this side of him.

The sweatshirt has a star on it. But what I didn't know was the reason it had a star on it. It was because the star reminds Tsukki of Yamaguchi's freckles. 

Like the stars he always says. It makes me very happy when he says that because he kinda patches over my self doubt that I have. I was bullied in elementary and middle school for my freckles. The reason me and Tsukki are friends is because of them. He stood up for me from a couple of bullies. So i'm also thankful for them. But if I didn't have them, I might have had a chance with him. Because then I could be cooler in his eyes, and wouldn't be someone who was weak and always needs protecting. 

I decide to hang out at the park for a half and hour. I really didn't want Tsukki to get sick because of me. After all I did call him here.

——-/  
After unlocking the door, I grab Tsukki a blanket so he can warm up. I would feel really bad if he had gotten him sick because of my foolishness. After he was comfortable on the couch, I start to warm up milk in the microwave.   
(idk i do this for hot coco i'm to lazy to do it on the stove)   
I ask Tsukki what movie he wants to watch, making sure it christmas related. Because were festive here. But he can't decide. I pull out the old CD with 5 different christmas movies on it. My favorite one being a snowman that comes to life and helps a very sick girl in a wheelchair. 

(it's called Magic Gift of the Snowman and i've watched ever sense i was little. You can buy it in a 5 movie set for a little over 5 dollars on amazon) 

Tsukki could care less about the movie but he puts up with it because it's a "tradition". I've have watched it with him around Christmas ever year. And sometimes I even get to spend christmas with him sometimes. After the microwave beeps letting me know Tsukki and my hot coco is done. I get comfy on the couch and start the movie. It's not long, only around 45 minuets. So it's over quick. By the time the movie was over I see Tsukki had fallen asleep. I guess I really didn't let him sleep in. I turn off the Tv and snuggle up next to him. 

(By which I mean both of their heads are on different sides of the couch, this isn't a middle school relationship we're not going that fast.)

I wake up and check my phone and see that it's almost 2 now. And all the energy I had in the morning was gone. And let's not forget I skipped breakfast so I was hungry. I look around and I don't see Tsukki anywhere. I quickly get up and walk to the kitchen seeing him make pancakes. But I would be fine with him for breakfast. Eww that's not okay, I told myself. 

"Hey yamaguchi, I'm sorry I didn't ask if I could use the kitchen. You were sleeping so I just assumed."

"No it's okay. You practically live here anyway." I say with a yawn, and rub my eyes. 

Tsukki says, "Where's did all the energy go?" In a sarcastic tone, with a smirk while flipping a pancake. 

"The nap made me tired." 

"That's no how it's suppose to work. Anyway here." He says handing me some pancakes. He didn't put syrup on your pancakes because he knows you would rather eat them with your hands. 

"Thank you." 

"Do you want to do anything today?" 

"No, not really. Just relax." I say while finishing my pancakes.

——/ тιмє ѕкιρ вєɕαυѕє ωну ησт

Tsukki has turned on a show about dinosaurs, which I really didn't mind because 𝙄𝙛 𝙝𝙚 𝙡𝙞𝙠𝙚𝙙 𝙞𝙩 𝙨𝙤 𝙙𝙞𝙙 𝙄.


	2. Heather?

𝗒𝖺𝗆𝖺𝗀𝗎𝖼𝗁𝗂 𝖯𝖮𝖵

It's now march, and the memory of Tsukki giving me his sweater is still fresh in my mind. Nothing has really happened since then. I've been trying my best to find the right time to tell him about my minor crush on him. It just never seems like the right time. I'll do it soon, I just know it.

"Hey tsukki watch out!" 

Oops maybe spacing out in practice isn't the best. Let's pray he isn't mad. 

"Yamaguchi what the hell. Pay attention that hurt." Maybe he was mad. 

"S-sorry Tsukki, i'll walk you to the nurses office." I say, while looking at my feet. It was only an accident hopefully he will forgive me.

"whatever let's go, my head hurts." Tsukki scoffs while heading for the door.

" Um Dachi, Suga please excuse us." I quickly say to the team parents with a slight bow before having to run to catch up to Tsukki. 

"I-i'm sorry Tsukki, it really was an accident."

"Shut up yamaguchi, I don't wanna talk right now my head hurts."

I don't know what to say to that so I keep my head down, while walking. It's before first period, so there isn't many people in the halls. A few here and there but not nearly as much as while switching periods, or during lunch. 

"Hey yamaguchi could you grab me an ice pack i'm gonna lay down."

"Um sure." 

I hadn't even known were in the infirmary. I walk to the freezer and grab an ice pack. I then wrap it in a paper towel, before handing it to tsukki.

" I'm gonna tell the teacher, we'll be in the infirmary for 1st period, if that's okay."

"Yea." 

the last thing I want right now is to talk to Tsukki while he is mad. That isn't pretty, he mostly just throws shade in salty remarks. Sometime I have good comeback but I keep it to myself, that would p*ss him off more. 

"Uhh sensei, I accidentally hit Tsukishima with a volleyball during practice, so we're both going to miss 1st period. We're going to be in the infirmary if that's okay."

"Yea yea. But if you two wander the halls, you won't be allowed out again." Jeez, someone needs their morning coffee.

"great thanks. We won't."

And with that I shut the door softly. I don't wanna get yelled at, and was on my way.   
I turn the corner, to the infirmary when I hear talking. It's Tsukishima's voice, and a girl? What? I wonder what their talking about. 

I sit at the bench by the door, and wait for the conversation to be over. I wait for what feels like forever, when I hear the girl get up and leave. Finally thank the lords. I catch her on her way out. 

"Hey"

"hey, what do you want." She almost rolled her eyes at the sight of me. What a B*tch. 

"Can I talk to you?"

"Sure make it quick I have to get to class." 

Huh there is still 10 minuets before class starts.

" why were you talking to Tsukishima?" I asked kinda weakly. 

"Anyway it's none of your fucking business, Tsukishima is mine. So back the fuck off." 

"What's your name?." It's the last thing I ask, because talking to this girl wasn't fun. 

"It's Heather, i'm in your first period. God how do you not know me." She says while flicking her hair behind her ear. 

"ok bye thanks." I tried to sound polite, but she was already down the hall. I take in a deep breath before swinging open the door to the infirmary.

—-/

"Hey... so the teacher said it was okay and that we can skip 1st period." I'll ask him about that brat in the hall later.

"ok. i'm going to take a nap please wake me up before 2nd."

I was going to ask him about that girl. Heather, but it wasn't a problem.   
Even if it was like she was confessing to him, he always said no. Right? Or maybe he did say yes, maybe he only said no because I wasnt far behind. Do I follow Tsukki around that much. Am I a bother to him. Does he not like it, did he really mean it when he asked me to go away. Was I being rude, did he want space. 

𝘥𝘪𝘥 𝘩𝘦....

𝘥𝘪𝘥...

𝘋𝘰 𝘐....

𝗜𝘀 𝗶𝘁 𝗺𝘆 𝗳𝗮𝘂𝗹𝘁...

𝗗𝗼𝗲𝘀 𝗵𝗲..

𝗔𝗺 𝗜..

Before I knew it, a good half an hour had passed. And I was still debating whether or not Tsukki even wanted me there. Because I knew he didn't need me, but we're we friends. Should I ask him, but what if he doesn't want to talk to me right now. 

"Yamaguchi please stop with that expression you know how much I hate it." 

Oh when did Tsukki wake up.

"It's nothing, i'm only lost in thought." I mean it was a white lie. I was lost in thought. But Tsukki meant everything to me. 𝙃𝙚 𝙬𝙖𝙨𝙣𝙩 𝙣𝙤𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙜. I lost both my parents in 7th grade, and Tsukki was always there for me when I was having a hard time. I think that was when I fully knew I had a crush on him. 

"Please tell me you're not still think about this morning. I forgive you already, what time is it anyway?" He says looking around for his phone.

He forgave me. Well that's good to know. I should talk to him after school today.

"oh we have plenty of time before class, about another half hour." I say while grabbing my phone and checking the time.   
"By the way do you have plans after school?" Because you still had some questions about that girl, Heather was it. 

"Oh yea, today I actually do, after school." 

Tsukki with plans, did he think you were that dumb. Tsukki' never has plans. like ever. Okay two can play at this game.

"Oh who is the lucky girl, my best-friend is going on a date with? At least tell me her name~." I say dramatically. 

He raises one eyebrow, as if he is questioning me.   
"Oh her names Heather, I met her a while ago while you were talking to the teacher." He says acting shyly. 

Uhh what this is a joke right. That b*tch from the hall. And Tsukki asking shy, okay maybe I did hit his head too hard.

"Oh weird she didn't mention anything to me earlier." Let's not tell him how she came off as a overprotective psycho just yet.

"You met her wait when?"

"After she walked out of the infirmary. I caught her on the way back to class, so she would help us with work." I didn't know if Tsukki would believe me because I didn't even know she was in our class.

"Oh i'll talk to her later." 

"mmh." It was weird, Tsukki had never had a girlfriend before. Or even gone on a date. This whole thing was weird. 

тιмє ѕкιρ 

"Yamaguchi we should probably head back to class. It's starts in 5."

"o-ok Tsukki." I say while grabbing both my and Tsukki's bag.

—-/ тιмє ѕкιρ вєɕαυѕє ωну ησт

Class came and went. I was spacing out in every class, not bothering to take notes.   
Even during lunch, I barley even picked at my food. I wasnt hungry. And I was skipping volley ball practice today. I just felt tired and out of energy. 

——/ єηԃ σƒ тнє ԃαу

I should text Tsukki and ask him if he is walking home with Heather because if he is, i'm going. 

ᵀᵒ ᵗˢᵘᵏᵏⁱ  
Are u walking Heather home? If so i'm heading off.  
𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥

ᶠʳᵒᵐ ᵀˢᵘᵏᵏⁱ  
Yes. K, i'm skipping volley.  
𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥

ᵀᵒ ᵀˢᵘᵏᵏⁱ  
k. bye have fun!  
𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥

What's with him. He never responds with just k, and volley. Guess he has his hands full with Heather.   
I mean it's not like I stood a chance with him anyway. He's cool and really popular.  
I just thought at least, you know he would find someone better than her.   
Maybe she was nice, maybe she just had a rough day. Haha yea rough day when your crush says yes to a date. 

——/ σρρѕ αησтнєя тιмє ѕкιρ

I open the door to my house with a satisfying click. I open the door, and run up to my room. Almost tripping on the final stair before flopping into bed. I cried for like a solid hour. My heart shattered. I want Tsukki to be happy. So I won't tell him about me having a crush on him, Ever. 

I hadn't even bothered to tell the volleyball team, that I was going home early. I'm also mad at Tsukki, because he hadn't bother to ask why I wasn't going to practice. I didn't care. I just wanted to have something. Something that belonged to me, and me only. My eyes sting and my head is pounding. I decide I should take a shower to get my mind off of things. 

——/

I slip on my shirt, then lay down again. I stare at the ceiling, wondering how Tsukki's date went. Maybe I should text him. Maybe she is still with him. It is only like 5 o-clock now so i'll wait a little while. I don't want to interrupt anything.   
To pass the time, I head down stairs to watch a movie. Something to get my mind off of everything. Let's do something scary. It's been a while sense i've watched a scary movie. 

\---/ тιмє ѕкιρ

I watch the credits, then stop the movie to check the time. It now 6:43, and it was time for dinner. Leftovers, my favorite. I quickly finish the lukewarm leftovers, before crashing onto my bed. I'm still gonna wait about another hour before text Tsukki

I sit at the desk in the corner of the room. And I just start writing. It's just something I do when Im bored. Just scribbles of my emotions. And sometimes there not half bad. 

—-/

Many scribbles later. I had come out with something I was proud of, It was nice. Almost sweet, but it's not done. I fold it nicely, and put it in a white envelope, then tuck it the 3rd drawer. Along with a couple other ones. But none I liked more than I did with this one.

It's probably time I sent Tsukki a message asking about the date.

ᵗᵒ ᵗˢᵘᵏᵏⁱ  
Hey... how was the date?   
𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥

ᶠʳᵒᵐ ᵗˢᵘᵏᵏⁱ  
It was fine, boring. But We're now dating apparently.   
𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥

ᵀᵒ ᵗˢᵘᵏᵏⁱ   
😂 You guys are going fast.  
𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥

ᶠʳᵒᵐ ᵗˢᵘᵏᵏⁱ   
Yea whatever. Gn i'm going to sleep.  
𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥

ᵗᵒ ᵗˢᵘᵏᵏⁱ   
Goodnight Tsukki   
𝘥𝘦𝘭𝘪𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘦𝘥

What's his problem. I thought he said he wasn't mad. I can't believe he has been blowing me off today. Even leaving me on delivered. Let's change his name back. 

( Yams does it when he is mad at Tsukishima)

ᵗᵒ ᵗˢᵘᵏⁱˢʰⁱᵐᵃ  
Hey... how was the date?   
𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥

ᶠʳᵒᵐ ᵗˢᵘᵏⁱˢʰⁱᵐᵃ  
It was fine, boring. But We're now dating apparently.   
𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥

ᵀᵒ ᵗˢᵘᵏⁱˢʰⁱᵐᵃ  
😂 You guys are going fast.  
𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥

ᶠʳᵒᵐ ᵗˢᵘᵏⁱˢʰⁱᵐᵃ  
Yea whatever. Gn i'm going to sleep.  
𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥

ᵗᵒ ᵗˢᵘᵏⁱˢʰⁱᵐᵃ  
Goodnight Tsukki   
𝘥𝘦𝘭𝘪𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘦𝘥

I slowly inhaled large breath of fresh air, before slowly standing up. It felt nice to change Tsukishima'a name back. I let out a yawn. Maybe I should get some rest, crying really does wear me out. 

——/ тιмє ѕкιρ

I spit out toothpaste before using some water to help get rid of the taste. Then I set my alarm, and try my best to get some sleep.


	3. Sick

(there are mention of suicide and cutting.)

𝘠𝘢𝘮𝘨𝘶𝘤𝘩𝘪 𝘗𝘰𝘷.  
I hear my alarm clock ring, for the third time before getting out bed. Wednesday, my least favorite day because it's in the middle of the week. I didn't feel like getting up. I wanted to just curl up under my blankets and watch a new anime. 

And more than anything I wanted Tsukki to be here, to laugh with me at the dumb stuff the people in the anime always get into. 

I walk into the the bathroom, and see my old razor blade sitting in the drawer. I had been cutting sense the death of my parents. But I had recently stopped because Tsukki had decide to check every other day. 

It made me feel better to know someone cared. But it didn't stop me, I would always still want to do it. It was something I thought of on the daily. But I kept trying to keep my mind off it but with Tsukki having a girlfriend now felt like a perfect time, to let the blood pour from my veins. I mean she was a b*tch and my best friend deserved better. 

𝙬𝙝𝙖𝙩. What am I thinking. It's Tsukki's choice, it shouldn't matter to me. I can't help being in love with him. 

I grab the blade, and softly press it against my wrist. The left one first, twice. Then the right, only once. The cuts weren't deep by any means but that still bled a lot. It glides across my scarred wrists. I watch as the blood pours out of my veins. I feel relieved and less anxious after I cut. The emotional pain slowly slips away into the physical pain. It makes me feel something, because something is better than nothing.

I wait until I get light headed to finally patch myself up. I wash off the razor blade and any blood, on the floor, or in the sink. Before returning to my room, and decide to send Tsukki a message.

ᵀᵒ ᵗˢᵘᵏⁱˢʰⁱᵐᵃ  
i'm not feeling so well, I think i'm going to stay home. srry  
𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥

ᶠʳᵒᵐ ᵗˢᵘᵏⁱˢʰⁱᵐᵃ  
Really Yamaguchi. Is that why you didn't go to volleyball practice.   
𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥

(Shoot, I forgot to tell tsukki I didn't go)

ᵀᵒ ᵗˢᵘᵏⁱˢʰⁱᵐᵃ  
Oh yes, I think I caught the flu.  
𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥

ᶠʳᵒᵐ ᵀˢᵘᵏⁱˢʰⁱᵐ  
Ok, I'm coming over be there in 5.  
𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥

ᵗᵒ ᵗˢᵘᵏⁱˢʰⁱᵐ  
It's fine, i'm okay. You can go to school without me.  
𝘥𝘦𝘭𝘪𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘦𝘥

Shoot, shoot, shoot. He was coming over. And look at my wrists. I run into the bathroom, and grab some bandages. I practically tear off the white cotton pad I had put on and shove some bandages on instead. And I put on a large black hoodie, to cover my arms so he can't see anything. I crawl back in bed, and turn on the TV, hoping he won't notice anything out of the ordinary. 

*creak (the front door opens)

"Yamaguchi, are you up in your room?"

"Oh yea, i'm up here."

"You should've texted me, Suga is mad you skipped and didn't say anything. He had to text me, because you wouldn't respond." 

Oh shoot, I had forgotten that I'd turned off my notifications after being mad at tsukishima.

"Yea sorry. I just wasn't feeling well." 

"Are you hungry, I can make soup. Then we can watch a movie."

"Um yea that sounds nice." I say, as I pull the blanket over my head. Well if he is here I have to at least pretend like i'm sick. And I can always go back to bed.

—-/ тιмє ѕкιρ тσ тнє ѕσυρ

"Yamaguchi wake up, the soups done."

"Ok." I say with a yawn. When did I fall asleep.  
I walk down the stairs, to the kitchen and sit on "the" chair. Me and Tsukki both have our own chairs at each other's house. Well not like they have our names on them but, we always sit there. 

"Here, I'm going back to your room to watch tv. Head up stairs when your done, so we can pick a movie." 

"o-ok thankyou for the soup." I say with a smile. It was nice to have Tsukki cook for me. He wasn't half bad at it too. We used to always bake cookies, and make random shapes with them. But not since middle school, it wasn't grown up enough.

I quickly finish the soup, and head back up stairs after doing the dishes. I see Tsukki watching another dinosaur show, well they were his favorite. 

"Hey yamaguchi you feeling any better because I don't think Suga will let us out of practice anymore."

"So what movie do you want to watch?" I avoid his questions, because i'm really not a good liar. He would know the moment I said it.

"Um I dont care, whatever you want is fine."

"okay, let's watch something scary." we scroll through the scary movies on the Tv before finally stopping on one you both agree is fine.

About a hour in, I tell Tsukki i'm going to get some water. I grab a glass and head back up stairs. I look in through the door and see Tsukki texting someone. Heather I suppose, but I wasn't going to ask him that. 

I go back and sit on the bed and unpause the movie. Every so often, I see Tsukki pull out his phone and text her back. I sneak glances when I can. But I don't see what all there saying. 

"I'm going to take a nap, if that's alright with you."

"Yea Yamaguchi that's fine, I'll stay here in case you need anything."

"Thank you Tsukki."

——-/ тιмє ѕкιρ

I wake up and hear Tsukki on the phone. At first I thought it was his mother, because it was a girls voice. But it was Heather. They had made plans for tomorrow after volleyball practice, meaning I was walking home by myself again. Which I didn't mind I guess, but it was better with Tsukki. 

I wait a couple more minutes after he hangs up, so he doesn't know I heard him. 

"Oh hey Yamaguchi, do you feel any better yet."

"Yea, I think the nap really helped, thanks."

"Oh um. Heather wants to meet you tomorrow and apologize for being rude, when you first met. If that's okay."

"Oh ok, that sounds like fun."

——-/ тσ тнє єηԃ σƒ тнє ԃαу

"Thank you for coming over."

"Anytime, get well soon. And by soon, I mean tomorrow. I don't want Suga to force us to run extra." 

"okay." I say with a chuckle. I shut the door, and return to my room. I pull out the song I had wrote. It was only about half way done, and needed more work. But none the less I was still proud of it. It was an outlet where I could put my emotions onto paper. I was going to title it "Heather" after Tsukki's first girlfriend.


	4. A party?

Morning practice went by fast, but I'm glad we didn't work on receiving because my wrists would die. Well start hurting, and I didn't wanna bail on the team again.

This was the the one time, I wanted the day to last forever. I was dreading about having to going with Tsukki to meet Heather. I didn't wanna see them together. It would hurt more, more than it needed too. I don't want to be third wheeling on their date

"Yamaguchi, are you good. You've been spacing out a lot today." 

"Y-yea Tsukki, I'm fine." 

i'm fine

i'm fine

𝙞𝙢 𝙛𝙞𝙣𝙚

"Yamaguchi I know when your lying, just tell me." Tsukki already looks annoyed and it's only first period.

"No i'm really okay."

"whatever."

Let's hope this whole day gets over soon

——/ тιмє ѕкιρ 

Classes went smoothly, like they always do. Nobody ever talks to me, but that's okay. Because I'd rather not talk to anyone. 

At practice Hinata and Kageyama were being especially loud. So they had to run extra. It was normal for the most part, though I was sweating so much. I had to wear a long sleeve to practice which is torture. I didn't want anyone to question about the cuts on my wrists. That would just complicate things.

I'm still putting on my pants when Tsukishima says   
"Come on Yamaguchi. Let's go Heathers waiting." 

"okay Tsukki!" I try to hurry up because I just want to get this over with. As fast as possible. 

We rounded the corner to a park. Where I see Heather, sitting on a bench scrolling on her phone.

"Hey Heather. How are you?"

"Good, good." She grabs his hand, and wraps his arm 'round her shoulder.

"Aren't you here to do something." Tsukishima says while looking over at me. 

"o-oh yea.... Yamaguchi how are you?"

"I'm fine." I want to start a conversation as it is kinda awkward. "I like your eyes, their brighter than a blue sky."

"Oh really, you think so. Thank you, and i'm sorry for what I said earlier. I was out of line." She says in almost sarcastic tone.

"It's okay."

"Oh great." She says happily, while squeezing Tsukki'a hand. 

She has Tsukki mesmerized. 

Well she is very pretty. Many times more than me. Just seeing them together, makes me sad. 

I wish I were Heather, because she's so much better.

"If that's all I should get going. You two have fun." I say with a smile. Obviously a fake smile, hopefully they believe it.

"Ok Yamaguchi." Tsukki says with a wave. 

I walk away, but I don't leave. I want to watch, just for a moment. 

I want to remind myself that Tsukki has a girlfriend and that I can't like him anymore. I watch him as she tells hims something, then he takes off his sweatshirt for her to wear. The one he had let me borrow. The one with a star on the front.

I shouldn't have stayed and watched, this wasn't my business. And it was hurting me more than it was than stopping me. I feel warm tears run down my cheeks, before I turning around and run home. 

I practically break down the door, before slamming it shut. I lean against the door gripping my hair, and start to sob. Why am I so ugly. Why do I have these stupid freckles their stupid and ugly Why couldn't I have been born prettier, then Tsukki would like me. 

I run up to my bathroom, and stare at my ugly freckles in the mirror. I open the cabinet door, and grab my blade. "This world would be better without me, it doesn't need me. Nobody wants me. Not even Tsukki, the person I adore and like the most. He doesn't need me."  
I press it hardly against my scarred wrists.   
Almost screaming in pain. I just want it to be over. Everything, I want everything to end. I want to keep going but I hear my phone buzz.

*bzz   
I don't wanna look at it. It's my phone, I pick it up anyway just in case it's suga or something.

ᶠʳᵒᵐ ᵀˢᵘᵏⁱˢʰⁱᵐᵃ  
Can I call you?

ᵀᵒ ᵀˢᵘᵏⁱˢʰᵏᵐᵃ  
Sure. Give me one minuet.

ᶠʳᵒᵐ ᵀˢᵘᵏⁱˢʰⁱᵐᵃ  
Okay

shoot. Okay, I got to patch this up. I grab the bandages and put a couple on before texting Tsukki, that he can call me.

"I just had my first kiss."

I blink a few times realizing what he just said.

"u-um so~ how was it." I try to sound happy and enthusiastic, like i'm trying to sound happy for him.

"It's actually not that much fun. I thought it would be cool, but it was lame." 

"Oh ok. I got to go, i'll call you back later."

"o-" *beep

I start sobbing harder than before. Much harder. He shouldn't have told me. I didn't want to know, why would he boast about his amazing life, while mine sucked. 

I wish today was over already. I slam the door to my room, and run over to my bed. I sit down, and grip the sheets, wondering if I should call Hinata. He knew about my crush on Tsukishima and would help when I wanted to talk to someone. 

*bzz  
ⁱⁿᶜᵒᵐⁱⁿᵍ ᶜᵃˡˡ ᶠʳᵒᵐ ᵀˢᵘᵏⁱˢʰⁱᵐᵃ

What does he want now, talk more about how amazing he date went. I sniffle, and swallow so I don't sound like i've been crying.

"Hey, Tsukishima what's up?"

"Well I was going to tell you, Heather invited me to a party, this saturday before you hung up. But I don't want to go alone, so could you come. Just in case I want to leave."

"Saturday. I have plans." I obviously don't, I just don't want to go with the both of them.

"Yamaguchi I know you don't, please just come this once." 

"Fine, whatever." 

"Great thanks, i'll pick you up."

"ok."

"Goo-" *beep

I didn't want to talk to him, and now i'm dragged into a party with them. I want to get some sleep, but I know i'm not going to for a while. So before I head down stairs, I wash my face with cold water. My eyes sting, and I would skip school tomorrow but I already have this week, and i'm not about to get yelled at by Suga or Dachi. 

—-/

I grab my blanket and head down stairs before turning on a movie. About Half way through, I fall asleep. Hoping that Friday will be fine.


	5. Friday

I wake up on the couch, with a sore neck. Remind me never to sleep on the couch again. I quickly get ready for school, and pack my bag for morning practice. The team doesn't have practice on Friday after school, so I have something to look forward to.

——/ тιмє ѕкιρ 

I shut the front door, before locking it with my key. It's about a ten minute walk to school, which was fine. I don't ride the bus anymore because my bullies ride my bus too. Well the bullying has gotten better because I was always around Tsukishima.   
I turn the corner, and see a familiar face. Well three to be exact. The same three bullies who   
would torment me everyday. I could never forget those faces. 𝘄𝗵𝗼 𝗰𝗼𝘂𝗹𝗱.   
Their eyes, they always felt like they were judging me, it would be something that would always scar me. I decided to take the long way to school, which adds an extra five minutes to the time. But i have time to spare, especially when it comes to them. I would do anything never to run into them again. 

Well it wouldn't be so bad if I had Tsukishima here with me, but he was walking with Heather. 

\--------/ тιмє ѕкιρ 

Morning practice went as usual. During the whole practice I avoided Tsukishima. I even went out of my way to ask Hinata to help me with my receives, so I didn't have to do it with him. Although, today Noya was spraying Tanaka with water. Honestly I'm surprised they didn't have to run laps. But they did have to stay late to clean the gym. 

I don't want to get to call too early because I don't want to run into him.   
I finally get into class, and I see Tsukishima is already there with Heather. I take my seat, and pull out a book. 

—-/ тιмє ѕмιρ 

It was now lunch time, and I think it's best if I eat with Hinata and Kageyama. I meet up with them, and head over to behind the gym, where they we talk, they practice, and I eat. It was nice to spend sometime with the other first year. When there not fight song of course. Lunch goes by fairly quickly, and I'm already dreading to go back to classes.

\----/ тιмє ѕкιρ  
I finish all my classes I had left for the day with so much homework. I feel like teachers talk about what days to assign homework, because they all assign it on the same day. I just hope this won't take me all night.

I text Tsukishima letting him know I'll head home, so he can walk with Heather. We talk less and less each day. And I feel like we're drifting apart.

ᵗᵒ ᵗˢᵘᵏⁱˢʰⁱᵐᵃ  
I'm heading off, have fun with Heather. 😉  
𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥

ᶠʳᵒᵐ ᵗˢᵘᵏⁱˢʰⁱᵐᵃ  
Ok. Shut up Yamaguchi   
𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥

I leave him on read, and speed walk to my house hoping I don't see the bullies from middle school again. 

—-/ тιмє ѕкιρ тσ тнє нσυѕє

I open the front door, and change out of my uniform to something more comfortable. Before sitting on the couch to watch Tv. I waste time until 5:30 where I'm hungry for dinner. I pull out some instant noodles and boil the water. 

After finishing my noodles, I head upstairs. I sit at my desk in the corner of my room before doing my homework. 

The homework wasn't hard, I'm just not what you would call "smart". I was in the advanced classes, but I had to always work really hard and study.

I decide to take a half and hour break to clear my head. I had finished most of my homework by now. But my brain was fired.

I pull out the song I had made. I decide to add a few more lines to it, before memorizing the whole song. It was well past 8 by now. I'm bored, and decide to text Tsukishima.

ᵗᵒ ᵗˢᵘᵏⁱˢʰⁱᵐᵃ  
How was it with Heather?  
𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥

ᶠʳᵒᵐ ᵗˢᵘᵏⁱˢʰⁱᵐᵃ  
Fine. Why were you ignoring me all day?  
𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥

ᵀᵒ ᵗˢᵘᵏⁱˢʰⁱᵐᵃ  
I wasn't, I was just letting you hang out with Heather.  
𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥

ᶠʳᵒᵐ ᵗˢᵘᵏⁱˢʰⁱᵐᵃ  
Still.  
𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥

ᵗᵒ ᵗˢᵘᵏⁱˢʰⁱᵐᵃ  
Gomen Tsukki.  
𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥

ᶠʳᵒᵐ ᵗˢᵘᵏⁱˢʰⁱᵐᵃ  
ok well goodnight. Do your homework, and I'll text you before I pick you up.

ᵀᵒ ᵗˢᵘᵏⁱˢʰⁱᵐ  
Goodnight, looking forward to it.  
𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥

I look down at the messages and feel my stomach turn. No matter how many times I see him and Heather together, I still can't forget about him. I can't describe how he makes me feel. At first I thought I was confusing friendship with love. But as time goes on, I'm not so sure. I'm just not so excited for the party.


	6. The party

I don't know when but I eventually drifted off to sleep, without changing into my pajamas. I walk to the bathroom, I look worse than usual. My hair is a mess and I need a shower. I grab a towel and a new set of clothes before turning on the water. I normally like my water pretty cold, but I went with hot water this morning. After getting out of the shower i realized its already almost lunch time.

—-/ тιмє ѕкιρ  
For "breakfast" I made chocolate chip pancakes. They were my favorite thing when I was younger. I would always keep this strawberry jam in the fridge for when Tsukishima came over, because that was his favorite.

I watch Tv and put all my homework away, because I apparently forgot to do that last night. As for the whole party situation I was just going to wear a hoodie and whatever pants I felt like. I would try my best to not talk to anyone. I hear my phone buzz.

ᶠʳᵒᵐ ᵗˢᵘᵏⁱˢʰⁱᵐᵃ   
I'll pick you up later tonight around ten. Then we can go meet Heather at the party, please be ready.

ᵀᵒ ᵗˢᵘᵏⁱʰⁱᵐᵃ  
10?! That so late, you know what fine, fine.

ᶠʳᵒᵐ ᵗˢᵘᵏⁱˢʰⁱᵐᵃ  
thank you, I'll make it up to you.

ᵀᵒ ᵗˢᵘᵏⁱˢʰⁱᵐᵃ  
welcome. It's what best friends are for.

Best friends

best friends 

best friends

B̷̟̥̥̟͈͎̎ȩ̵̛͎̪̰͇̭̤̈̐͂s̶̺̩̤͒͊͌̃́̃͑̕͘ẗ̸̲͉̘́͛ ̸̰̱͔͇̮͖̝̗̦͎̾́̄̅̀f̸̛͉͙͎̥͎̙̠͇̻̑̆͜͝r̷̡̨̝̤͋ḯ̵̧̩̹̒̆̈͗̉̋̍̚͠ë̴̢̛͚͕̜͔̫̹́̍̀̿͘n̶̲̋̊͂͋̊̊̃̿̓̕ͅd̶̗̟̼͔̋̏̈́͋̕ṡ̷̝͉̕͘͝ 

฿Ɇ₴₮ ₣ⱤłɆ₦Đ₴

🅱🅴🆂🆃 🅵🆁🅸🅴🅽🅳🆂

ώꚔ🇾 ͼລቢ'τ ώ巳 Ϧ巳 ꕷꙨṁ巳τꚔȊቢģ ṁꙨŕ巳

I need to pass the time, and I also need to clear my head, so I decide to head out for a walk. I grab a black jacket and my key, and head out. It had been so long since I had just sat outside and appreciated everything.   
When I was outside I always felt like I could get away.   
Away from everything, my bullies, my sucky life, and even all the self harm I had did. I made my way to the park without realizing it, and sat down on a swing. I sat there swing for a good half hour, humming the tune to the song I had made. 𝗜𝘁 𝘄𝗮𝘀 𝗽𝗲𝗿𝗳𝗲𝗰𝘁. I observed the sky, and the birds. Honestly this could last forever. Well not without Tsukishima it couldn't. Great now the whole mood is ruined, I sigh and stand up. I slowly head home, not knowing what else to do for the whole rest of the day. It would be hours before Tsukishima would be here. 

—-/ time skip 

I honestly ended up being way more nervous that I though I would be. I tried passing the time by playing board games. But bored games aren't as fun with one person. I had had hours to waste and I hadn't made strawberry shortcake in a really long time, even though it was Tsukishima's favorite. Sometimes we would go this cafe by our school and do our homework there, but I'm pretty sure he's already gone there with Heather to do homework. 

I preheat the oven, then mix all the dry ingredients. I mix eggs, milk, oil sugar and butter with the dry ingredients. I put the batter into two pans, then into the oven. I wash the strawberry's before cutting them. To make the frosting, I whip heaving whipping cream, vanilla, and powder sugar. I let the two cakes cool off before spreading a thick layer of frosting and adding some strawberry's, I add the other layer on top. I use the last little bit of frosting to make little circles on top then add more strawberry's. 

It was finally finished. It only took about 2 hours, normally would take less time but tsukishima isn't here. And I could have used a second pair of hands. 

it's only 5 now so I have about another 4 hours before he will be here to pick me up. 

—-/ Time skip 

9:30 came by fast. And I already needed to get ready. I pulled out a basic white tee and some black jeans. I grabbed a red overcoat to complete the look. I wanted to go more casual/comfy than anything. I grab my phone, and sit on the couch waiting for a text from tsukishima. 

ᶠʳᵒᵐ ᵗˢᵘᵏⁱˢʰⁱᵐᵃ  
Hey, i'm out front.

ᵀᵒ ᵗˢᵘᵏˢʰⁱᵐᵃ  
okay.

He was here already? I still had like 10 minuets till ten. I shut the door and lock it before getting into the back seat of the car. Tsukishima looked nice, he was wearing black jeans and a white turtleneck. I could feel my cheeks start to heat up. Heather was in the passenger side seat. 𝗪𝗲𝗮𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝘀𝘄𝗲𝗮𝘁𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗿𝘁. The one he gave to her, the one I wore. I couldn't take it already, I wanted to get out of the car. I rolled down the window and huffed in and out a few breaths before rolling it up. I was nervous okay. Everything would be fine. 

After a 10 minute drive we pulled up to the house. It was white, and in the middle of no where. We all get put the car, before walking up some old creaky steps to the front door. Heather opens the door, and when I stepped in it reaked of alcohol. I take of my red jacket and hang it up. I held back a cough, and made my way to somewhere I could sit down. Everything wasn't as flashy as it was in the movies. There was loud music and people here and there. Most people were around the "dance floor".

"Hey yamaguchi want a drink." Heather says while swing a red solo cup filled with god knows what.

"No i'm okay." I say back, i'm not here to get drunk. 𝗝𝘂𝘀𝘁 𝗵𝗲𝗿𝗲 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝘁𝘀𝘂𝗸𝗶𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗺𝗮.

"Oh come on, we're here to have fun right." She says in a playful tone chugging down on her drink.

"He says he good, stop being so pushy." 

I hated it how tsukishima always had to stand up for me. EVERY TIME. I could never stand up for myself. And honestly I didn't really care anymore. Today I was going to prove hims wrong. screw him, pass me a drink.

"Actuall Heather, I changed my mind. Mind grabbing me one." I say as I look over at Tsukishima as clenches he jaw. Did that make him angry. 

"Auyyyy. Okay i'll go grab one." She says as she walks away. Flirting to like 3 guys on the way to get drink even though her boyfriend is literally right next to me. 

"Yamaguchi, I though you said you didn't want to drink." 

"I said I changed my mind." I said as I shrugged my shoulders. I knew I mad him mad, but he also made me upset, when he went out with Heather, kissed her and did god knows what. It want like this was all my fault here, I tried confessing so many times. He would always put his head phones on and walk away. 

"Whatever, but if you get drunk i'm not baby sitting you."

"okay" I saw with a smile.

Heather gets back shortly after with the drink. It's pink almost red and it smelled, at this point I didn't care. I wasn't going to chug it like Heather, but I also didn't spend too much time on it. After around what I would say was 15 minutes I finished it.

"Hey Heather do you mind grabbing me another glass?" 

"Dang! okay." She says while walking back through the door, to what I assume is the kitchen. 

"Yams you should really slow down." He says almost sincerely, which rarely happens.

" Ya okay, i'll be done after this glass." 

Heather comes back with the same red solo cup, but it smelled a little different this time. I still drink it though, but way slower that last time. 

"Hey Tsukishima lets go to the dance floor for a while. They will be doing karaoke soon."

"Okay fine, just slow down with drinking." 

"Ya ya, my tolerance is high so i'll be okay."

I watch as they walk to another part of the house, where the music is coming from. I think i'm sad drunk because I also started crying, as everything hit. Tsukishima likes Heather, and Heather likes him back. 𝙃𝙚'𝙨 𝙝𝙖𝙥𝙥𝙮. That's what matters, I can hold on a little longer. Just as you always have. I blink a few times before realizing I had made my way to the dance floor. I scope out some hot guys, that I could dance with. But I didn't want to get caught as I still hadn't come out to Tsukishima and I don't plan to any time soon. 

I practically push my way into the middle of the floor, before grinding up against a couple of guys. 10 minuets later, I hear that there starting karaoke. I went to the kitchen, and asked the man for a shot. I promised I wouldn't drink, but whatever. I went to the dance floor, more tipsy than ever. so think Heather slipped something into my drink. I wasn't slurring my words, but my decision making was crap. I listened to a few girls go up and sing the latest pop songs then a guys sing for his girlfriend, before I thought it would be a good idea to sing a song. I picked the song I had made. The on for Tsukishima. I hadn't even checked to see if Tsukishima was in the room, I didn't care.

I walk up onto the make shift stance and grab the microphone. I had found this background music on youtube a while ago and decided to play that with the song.

I started out shyly barley even singing the words

I still remember 

Third of December

Me in your sweater

You said it looked better

On me, than it did you

Only if you knew

How much I liked you

But I watch your eyes, as she

Walks~ by

"𝖡𝗒 𝗇𝗈𝗐 𝖨 𝗆𝖺𝖽𝖾 𝖾𝗒𝖾 𝖼𝗈𝗇𝗍𝖺𝖼𝗍 𝗐𝗂𝗍𝗁 𝖳𝗌𝗎𝗄𝗂𝗌𝗁𝗂𝗆𝖺. 𝖧𝖾 𝗅𝗈𝗈𝗄𝖾𝖽 𝖼𝗈𝗇𝖿𝗎𝗌𝖾𝖽. 𝖨𝖿 𝗈𝗇𝗅𝗒 𝗁𝖾 𝗄𝗇𝖾𝗐 𝗍𝗁𝗂𝗌 𝗌𝗈𝗇𝗀 𝗐𝖺𝗌 𝖿𝗈𝗋 𝗁𝗂𝗆 𝖨 𝗍𝗁𝗂𝗇𝗄 𝗁𝖾 𝗐𝗂𝗅𝗅 𝖻𝗒 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝖾𝗇𝖽 𝖺𝗇𝗒𝗐𝖺𝗒𝗌."

What a sight for

Sore eyes~

Brighter than a

Blue sky~

She's got you

Mesmerized~

While I die

𝖸𝗈𝗎 𝖼𝗈𝗎𝗅𝖽 𝗁𝖾𝖺𝗋 𝗍𝗁e 𝖼𝗋𝖺𝖼𝗄𝗅𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗂𝗇 𝗆𝗒 𝗏𝗈𝗂𝖼𝖾. 𝖨 𝖼𝗈𝗎𝗅𝖽 𝖿𝖾𝖾𝗅 𝖺𝗌 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝗍𝖾𝖺𝗋𝗌 𝗂𝗇 𝗆𝗒 𝖾𝗒𝖾𝗌. 𝗜 𝗱𝗼𝘂𝗯𝘁 𝗵𝗲 𝘄𝗶𝗹𝗹 𝘄𝗮𝗻𝘁 𝘁𝗼 𝗯𝗲 𝗳𝗿𝗶𝗲𝗻𝗱𝘀 𝗮𝗻𝘆𝗺𝗼𝗿𝗲, 𝗯𝘂𝘁 𝗜 𝗱𝗼𝗻𝘁 𝘄𝗮𝗻𝘁 𝘁𝗼 𝗸𝗲𝗲𝗽 𝗵𝘂𝗿𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗺𝘆𝘀𝗲𝗹𝗳 𝗹𝗶𝗸𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘆𝗱𝗮𝘆. 𝗛𝗲 𝗻𝗲𝗲𝗱𝘀 𝘁𝗼 𝗸𝗻𝗼𝘄.

Why would you ever kiss me?

I'm not even half, as pretty

You gave her your sweater

It's just polyester, but you like her better

Wish I were Heather

𝖨 𝗆𝖺𝗄𝖾 𝖾𝗒𝖾 𝖼𝗈𝗇𝗍𝖺𝖼𝗍 𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝖨 𝗌𝖾𝖾 𝗁𝗈𝗐 𝗁𝗂𝗌 𝖾𝗒𝖾𝗌 𝗀𝗈 𝖻𝗂𝗀 𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝗁𝖾 𝗈𝗉𝖾𝗇𝗌 𝗁𝗂𝗌 𝗆𝗈𝗎𝗍𝗁 𝗌𝗅𝗂𝗀𝗁𝗍𝗅𝗒, 𝗁𝖾 𝗄𝗇𝖾𝗐 𝗂𝗍 𝗐𝖺𝗌 𝖿𝗈𝗋 𝗁𝗂𝗆 𝗇𝗈𝗐. 𝖨 𝖿𝖾𝖾𝗅 𝗍𝗋𝖾𝖺𝗋 𝗋𝗈𝗅𝗅 𝖽𝗈𝗐 𝗆𝗒 𝖼𝗁𝖾𝖾𝗄 𝖺𝗌 𝖨 𝖼𝗈𝗇𝗍𝗂𝗇𝗎𝖾 𝗌𝗂𝗇𝗀𝗂𝗇𝗀. 𝗜 𝗱𝗶𝗱𝗻𝘁 𝗰𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝗶𝗳 𝗵𝗲 𝗵𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗱 𝗺𝗲.

Watch as she stands with

Her holding your hand

Put your arm 'round her shoulder

Now I'm getting colder

But how could I hate her?

She's such an angel

𝖨 𝗆𝖺𝗄𝖾 𝖾𝗒𝖾 𝖼𝗈𝗇𝗍𝖺𝖼𝗍 𝖺𝗀𝖺𝗂𝗇 𝖻𝖾𝖿𝗈𝗋𝖾 𝗌𝖺𝗒𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗍𝗁𝖺𝗍 𝗅𝖺𝗌𝗍 𝗉𝖺𝗋𝗍 𝗂𝗇 𝖺 𝗌𝖺𝗋𝖼𝖺𝗌𝗍𝗂𝖼 𝗍𝗈𝗇𝖾.

But then again, kinda

Wish she were dead,

𝖨 𝖿𝖾𝖾𝗅 𝗈𝗇𝖾 𝗍𝖾𝖺𝗋 𝖺𝖿𝗍𝖾𝗋 𝖺𝗇𝗈𝗍𝗁𝖾𝗋 𝗋𝗈𝗅𝗅 𝖽𝗈𝗐𝗇 𝗆𝗒 𝖿𝖺𝖼𝖾. 𝖨 𝗐𝖺𝗇𝗍𝖾𝖽 𝗁𝗂𝗆 𝗍𝗈 𝗄𝗇𝗈𝗐 𝗁𝗈𝗐 𝗆𝗎𝖼𝗁 𝗁𝖾 𝗁𝗎𝗋𝗍 𝗆𝖾. 𝖨 𝖽𝗂𝖽𝗇𝗍 𝖼𝖺𝗋𝖾 𝗂𝖿 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝗐𝗁𝗈𝗅𝖾 𝗐𝗈𝗋𝗅𝖽 𝗐𝖺𝗌 𝗐𝖺𝗍𝖼𝗁𝗂𝗇𝗀. 𝖨 𝖼𝗈𝗎𝗅𝖽𝗇𝗍 𝗍𝖺𝗄𝖾 𝗂𝗍 𝖺𝗇𝗒𝗆𝗈𝗋𝖾. 

as she Walks~ by

What a sight for

Sore eyes

Brighter than a

Blue sky

She's got you

mesmerized~

While I die

Why would you ever kiss me?

I'm not even half, as pretty

You gave her your sweater

It's just polyester, but you like her better

I wish I were Heather

Wish I were Heather

Wish I were Heather

𝖨 𝗍𝗋𝗒 𝗍𝗈 𝗌𝖺𝗒 𝗐𝗂𝗍𝗁 𝖺 𝗌𝗆𝗂𝗅𝖾, 𝖻𝗎𝗍 𝖨 𝗌𝖾𝖾 𝖧𝖾𝖺𝗍𝗁𝖾𝗋 𝗅𝖺𝗎𝗀𝗁𝗂𝗇𝗀. 𝖲𝗍𝗂𝗅𝗅 𝗂𝗇 𝗁𝗂𝗌 𝗌𝗐𝖾𝖺𝗍𝖾𝗋. 𝖳𝗌𝗎𝗄𝗂𝗌𝗁𝗂𝗆𝖺 𝖽𝗂𝖽𝗇𝗍 𝖽𝖾𝗌𝖾𝗋𝗏𝖾 𝗁𝖾𝗋, 𝗁𝖾 𝖽𝖾𝗌𝖾𝗋𝗏𝖾𝖽 𝖻𝖾𝗍𝗍𝖾𝗋. 𝖡𝗎𝗍 𝖨 𝗐𝖺𝗌𝗇𝗍 𝖺𝗇𝗒 𝖻𝖾𝗍𝗍𝖾𝗋. 𝖨 𝗍𝗋𝗒 𝗍𝗈 𝗐𝗂𝗉𝖾 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝗍𝖾𝖺𝗋𝗌 𝖿𝗋𝗈𝗆 𝗆𝗒 𝖾𝗒𝖾𝗌 𝖻𝗎𝗍 𝗂𝗍 𝗐𝖺𝗌 𝗇𝗈 𝗎𝗌𝖾.

Why would you ever kiss me?

I'm not even half as pretty

You gave her your sweater

It's just polyester, but you like her better

Wish I were.... 

-"Heather"

before I say anymore, I run off the stage to find the bathroom. I could feel all eyes were on me. I finally get to the bathroom, before slamming the door, and balling my eyes out. He knew everything now. 𝗛𝗲𝘀 𝗴𝗼𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘁𝗼 𝗵𝗮𝘁𝗲 𝗺𝗲. 𝗝𝘂𝘀𝘁 𝗱𝗶𝗲 𝗮𝗹𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗱𝘆 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝘄𝗼𝗿𝘁𝗵𝗹𝗲𝘀𝘀 𝗯𝗿𝗮𝘁. I hear a knock on the door. I choke down and try to muster up a voice 

"o-occupied." I'm barley even able to say that. 

I hear the door open. Sh*t should have locked it. I bury my head into my knees, and start to sob quieter hoping whoever it was would just leave. 

"Yamaguchi." 

I feel my eyes go big as I know that voice, who wouldn't. It was Tsukishima the one person I didn't want to see right now. 

"Go away I want to be alone." I say trying to bury my head farther into my knees.

"Please look at me." He says in a almost sweet tone. 

I hear his foot steps as he walks closer. I look up and I see him start to crouch down. I didn't want to talk to him.

ʟᴇᴀᴠᴇ

ǝʌɐǝl

ļ̷̖̩͉̻̱̻͊̌́͑͛̐ȩ̴̢̫̪͎͙̦̱̀͑ạ̴̟̑̅̽̍͛͘v̷̱̭̒͐̒̔͂̍̔̌͘͠e̴͖̐̈́͌͒̄̀

ɘvɒɘ| ɘꙅɒɘ|q

ᕶ⎢℮ͣＳ℮

"Yamaguchi please look at me." 

"no." 

I feel him slide his hand back behind me ear to the back of my neck, before making his way to my chin. He grabs ahold of it before pulling me head up, to meet his lips. I was shocked but i'm not going to lie I was all for it. It wasn't like a rough kiss, more like an imsorrypleasedontbemadatme kind of kiss even though he "didn't" do anything. I closed my eyes and kissed him back leaning my head in to meet his. I didn't care if he had a girlfriend, it didn't matter to me now. I wanted this moment to last forever. He pulled back first, because we were both running out of breath, his air was hot. And man was it a turn on. He wipes the left over tears from eyes. The tears weren't from being sad or angry anymore but because I was happy. I think I see a slight blush on his cheeks but, I put my head into his chest and grabbed ahold of his white turtleneck, as I continue to sob.

"Yamaguchi let's go home." 

"o-ok" I say before having to hold tsukishima hand to stand up because my legs would barley work. He puts his sweatshirt with a start back over me. I assume he got it back from Heather. 

I get into the car, before daring to speak.

"So are we heading back to my house." 

"yea, why do you wanna go anywhere else." 

"no, no" I assume we're also leaving Heather here by herself, it's not like she can't get a guy to drive her home. But I doubt she would stop there. 

The whole drive was silent. But I didn't mind it. I was thinking about I wanted to do next. I needed to organize my thoughts. Well I did need to talk to him and sort this out. I have so many questions. 

Before I knew it we were back at my house. I head inside and invite him in to.

"I made uh strawberry shortcake if you want some." 

"oh. Sure." 

I watch as he grabs a slice, before taking a seat on the couch with me.

"soo?" I say hoping he will take the lead in the conversation. Because I have a lot of questions that need answered.

"So what?" He says before eating another bite of cake. 

"Uh what about Heather. We kinda just left her there. She is your girlfriend after all." I honestly could care less, but I had to act like I did.

"What about her. We broke up." He says that with no tone in his voice what so ever.

"Why do you want to fill her place or something?" He says as he leans closer while putting down his plate. 

"Well uh- I uh-." I dont know what to say, well of course I want to fill her spot, but my head is in scrambles. 

He leans in further, and meets my lips again. He bites my lower lip and I slightly open my mouth. I moan as his tongue enters my mouth. It's sweet and tastes like strawberry's. I find myself wanting more, I close my eyes and lean in further. I clasp onto his shirt once again, practically begging him not to pull away. I don't want this to end. 

I start to run out of air, so i'm forced to pull away. There is a string of saliva connecting us. I look up at him, and this time i'm sure I'm seeing him blush. I crawl almost knocking him over, before leaning in to kiss him again. I feel his hand creep up my stomach before he pushes me down on the couch. He pushes my shirt up, and starts to suck, before finding my sweet spot. I tilt my head back in pure pleasure. I head him chuckle and his moves away from my lips and down my neck. Leaving little spots and he sucks. 

"Tsukishi-ma. Ah-h. Not here, not on the couch, let's go to my room." 

"Fine." That's all he says, but even hearing his low voice, so close to my ear makes me hard. I didn't think he was this strong but he picks me up, and continues to kiss me. It was a dream come true. We make the way to my room, before he practically breaks down my door, and forces me onto the bed. I see him take off his shirt, so I do the same. Trying my best to hide the fresh scars on my wrists. But i’m embarrassed to take off my pants so I keep them on. I see him unbuckle his belt, and shimmy off his pants, while sucking on my skin right under my collarbone. I didn't want to move, but I slowly move my hand down to his underwear, where I stroke his member. I start to feel his pre-cum seep from his underwear. He grabbed my hands and shove them above my head. I can feel him pull down on my jeans, exposing my underwear. I see him smerk, before leaning closer to my ear. 

"Do you have any lube or condoms." 

"Y-ea second drawer." I say, and feel my cheeks heat up even more. 

I see him rummage around in the drawer for a minuet before finding them both. He then grabs my underwear, and yanks them off. He pours some lube onto his hands, before circling my ass. 

"Just put it in a-all ready." I say in a whisper

"What was that? I couldn't hear you." 

He knew full well what he was doing. I didnt want to own up to it, I wanted him to put it in already. 

"Stop teasing. Please." I really couldn't wait any longer. 

"ok" 

I feel as his finger enters. After a couple minutes he adds a second. I start to tilt my head back, and he hits my prostate. It feels kinda weird at first, then amazing. I feel the alcohol take its toll on me as start to get a little dizzy, melting into the pleasure.

"Oh, I think I found the sweet spot." He says with his signature smirk.

"a-ah I think I-i'm coming." 

I can feel me almost hitting my climax.

"No yet. I didn't say you could." 

I can feel as he pulls his fingers out, and opens a condom. It was kind of a let down that I didn't get to cum, but I wanted him inside me more. 

"Please T-tsukki." 

"I said I owed you for coming to the party but I think i'll count this as it." 

I feel him press his member against my ass, before abruptly shoving it inside. 

“A-hH slo—w down.”

I feel myself trying my hardest to keep in the moans, because I didn't expect Tsukki to be this big. I already wanted to come from him just entering me. 

"fuck you're so tight."

I have to put my hand over my mouth to keep everything in.

"Aww, don't hold your moans back their so cute.”

I move my hand, but keep my mouth closed knowing he will only tease me for it later. 

"Fine, I'll just have to fuck you so good. You have to scream my name." 

If he kept talking like that i'll finished before we even get started. I feel him start to thrust, in and out of me, reaching my deepest point. I could barley keep in my voice now, and if he came close to my prostate, it would be over for me. I feel his hot breath and I could hear his grunts. After a few more thrusts he flips me over and starts sucking on my nipple, playing with it with his tongue. He uses his tongue and play with in circles. It was nice being so sensitive sometimes.

Then he found my prostate. I couldn't concentrate, and my mind went blank.

"a-aah~ not there. 𝗍𝗌𝗎𝗄𝗄𝗂!" 

When I said that he started thrusting harder and harder, not letting up. I couldn't keep my voice in any longer, and I was nearing my end. 

"Ehh, Kei~ . Right there, don't stop." 

"Won't have to tell me twice." He says in a deep voice.

I couldn't hold it in any longer, I had to come. 

"Mmh. I-i'm coming." 

"Me too. Yamaguchi." 

"AHh- tsukki." 

I hear him grunt my name as he filled me up with warm liquid, and I came all over my chest. Still thrusting to ride out the orgasm. 

I wrapped my arms around his neck, and pulled him into a kiss. 

After pulling away from the kiss, I hear him say, " I think we need a shower. I'm all sweaty." 

I chuckle, " o-ok I'll head in first." 

"Just hurry up" 

"Whatever." 

I try to stand up before realizing how much pain I was in. Maybe he was a little too big. I grabbed a new set of clothes and a towels before hopping in the shower, keeping it short though. After finishing up, I walk back into the room before sitting on the bed. 

"Showers all yours." 

"Thanks." Tsukishima says before walking over to my closet and grabbing a pair of his clothes that he keeps at my house incase he spends the night. 

After Tsukishima comes out of the shower about 10 minutes later, he sits on the bed. I don't really know what to say but I want to say something. 

"so uhh. Was the song any good?" One the worse conversation starters but I didn't like the silence.

"Actually it wasn't half bad." He says with a chuckle.

"So... are you bi? Because you went out with Heather, and then kissed me." 

"Well I think we did more than a kiss, and no I don't think i'm bi. I really didn't have an attraction to Heather. It was more of an experiment."

"So uhh does this mean we can start going out?" I look at him before looking back to my window in my room. But I actually really want to know the answer to this question.

"Just don't tell kageyama or hinata. They talk to much." 

"True they are blabber mouths, along with Tanka and Noya but I bet they could keep a secret longer than those two." 

I get a chuckle as a response and the aura has gone from being awkward back to us being best friends. But now we're something more. 

"Want to watch a scary movie, so I can fall asleep."

"How you fall asleep with a scary movie on is still a mystery." 

"Ehh." 

We both decide on a movie. About half way through I fall asleep, but not before i'd cuddled up against Tsukishima. I swore he even cuddled me back, but I don't know.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you liked it!!


End file.
